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User blog:Moon Snail/Reviewing every Pokémon in 10 words or less - Generation I!
Heya! It\s everyone's least favorite Husbando hoarder, Moon Snail! I had an idea for a blog series: I'll rate every Pokémon while stating my opinion on it in 10 words or less! A few things to mention: *If a Pokémon has an evolution or pre-evolution at a later generation, I'll review that (Pre-)evolution in its respective generation. *If a Pokémon has a split evolution, I'll rate each evolution separately. *Mega-evolutions will have their own blog. With that out of the way, let's begin! *Bulbasaur line: It's more overrated than Charizard at this point, honestly. (6/10) *Charmander line: Am I the only one who thinks it's still cool? (8/10) *Squirtle line: Blastoise is the best one. Fight me. (9/10) *Caterpie line: Butterfly with psychic powers? Now I understand Bikini Bottom's meltdown. (8/10) *Weedle line: Three foot tall wasp. With drills for hands. I'm scared. (5/10) *Pidgey line: Oh hey, that bird I saw yesterday is a Pokémon! (6/10) *Reg. Rattata line: From purple rat to hamster? That's not how evolution works. (3/10) *Alolan Rattata line: Can I keep it under my hat to make Poffins? (7/10) *Spearow line: It's like Pidgey but cooler. (7/10) *Ekans line: OH, YOU SPELL IT BACKWARDS AND IT SAYS- (6/10) *Pikachu (Rating every member separately): I can see why it's the mascot. Prefer Clefairy though. (8/10) *Raichu: It's a bigger Pikachu. I like it. (9/10) *Alolan Raichu: I just now realized how much I love this boy. (10/10) *Reg. Sandshrew line: Pretty good for pure-ground type. (7/10) *Alolan Sandshrew line: But it isn't even sand at this point! (8/10) *NidoranF line: Why does the last one have boobs (7/10) *NidoranM line: I'm not a furry, I'm not a furry, I'm not... (9/10) *Clefairy line: Pink, huggable, wonderful. (9/10) *Reg. Vulpix line: Ninetales looks like a Psychic type, but whatever. (7/10) *Alolan Vulpix line: A few minor changes multiplied it's adorableness by 50. (9/10) *Jigglypuff line: Oh hey they made my Melee main into a Pokémon! (8/10) *Zubat line: GO AWAY. (2/10) *Oddish line: Weed jokes aren't funny anymore, to be honest. (4/10) *Paras line: Really creepy and cool when you look more into it. (10/10) *Venonat line: Venonat's adorable. Venomoth's forgettable. (5/10) *Reg. Diglett line: Take the thingy, make it three... bam, new evolution! (4/10) *Alolan Diglett line: Now give them hair. Bam, new form! (3/10) *Reg. Meowth line: Kinda unremarkable. The Anime one is pretty cool, though. (6/10) *Alolan Meowth line: Stuffing your face as usual. (3/10) *Psyduck line: Like many have said, they should've had a name swap. (7/10) *Mankey line: Simple? No threat? UGLY!? That... is what this is. (2/10) *Growlithe line: Find a reason to dislike this. Come on. Dare ya. (10/10) *Poliwag line: You are my frog. (7/10) *Abra line: If it doesn't teleport away, it's pretty good. (7/10) *Machop line: Yes, me am real Pokémon and not human lizard thing. (5/10) *Bellsprout line: (Insert Plants vs. Zombies theme here) (4/10) *Tentacool line: Everything about Zubat, but worse and on the water. (1/10) *Reg. Geodude line: It's not just a boulder, it's a rock! (7/10) *Alolan Geodude line: It's Geodude with black rocks attached. This makes it Electric? (6/10) *Ponyta line: I feel like I'd like this if I liked horses. (5/10) *Slowpoke line: I-is the meme still funny? (8/10) *Magnemite line: Fucking magnets, how do they work? (6/10) *Farfetch'd line: Would you believe if I said it carried me once? (4/10) *Doduo line: Extinct animal somehow not fossil. (6/10) *Seel line: Wow. Great naming creativity. (5/10) *Reg. Grimer line: Wow, Ditto really let itself go. (2/10) *Alolan Grimer line: They made me like Muk. How the hell- (9/10) *Shellder line: Stop with the vagina jokes, please... (8/10) *Gastly line: Sorry guys... But I fucking hate this thing. (0/10) *Onix: Rock snek. (5/10) *Drowzee line: Well, I'm not sleeping tonight! (6/10) *Krabby line: I feel like this would steal my Pokédollars. (7/10) *Voltorb line: You take a Pokéball and give it eyes. New Pokémon! (1/10) *Exeggcute line: Are these seeds or are they eggs? Choose one, GF! (4/10) *Alolan Exeggcutor: I actually like this one unironically. (7/10) *Cubone line: BONE!?!? (6/10) *Marowak: An actually original take on the dead mother thing. (9/10) *Hitmonlee: It's a thing that kicks. Cool (3/10) *Hitmonchan: It's a thing that punches. Cool. (4/10) *Lickitung: That tongue must be drier than a grain of sand. (5/10) *Koffing line: They should've made a third one called "Hakking". (5/10) *Rhyhorn line: Good as a first Pokémon ever made. (8/10) *Chansey: Egg. (5/10) *Tangela: Thank goodness Gen 4 came along. This is underwhelming. (4/10) *Kangaskhan: Interesting take on kangaroos. (9/10) *Horsea line: Refer to Tangela, but subtract one. (5/10) *Goldeen line: Hey look! They made my pet fish into a Pokémon! (3/10) *Staryu line: Never will I see a fast starfish ever again. (8/10) *Mr. Mime: It's Fairy type for some reason. (4/10) *Scyther: One of the cooler bugs this gen. (8/10) *Jynx: I hate it. (1/10) *Electabuzz: It's pretty neat, I guess. Not much to say. (7/10) *Magmar: I must restrain myself from making butt jokes. (5/10) *Pinsir: I feel bad it was tossed to the wayside. (7/10) *Tauros: It's not bullshit, I can tell you that. (8/10) *Magikarp line: Funny joke turns into badass sea serpent. Win-win! (10/10) *Lapras: Just an all-around good Pokémon. (9/10) *Ditto: Purple blob with biggest dick energy of all Pokémon. (5/10) *Eevee: I'll rate each Eeveelution separately. Base form is cute, though. (8/10) *Vaporeon: Cute merfolk-like Eeveelution. (8/10) *Jolteon: Nyoom! (9/10) *Flareon: False prophet and bad moveset aside, I like it. (7/10) *Porygon: Really cool, just like it's whole line (Getting to it.) (9/10) *Omanyte line: I'm an atheist. Sorry. (5/10) *Kabuto line: Coolest fossil ever. You can't convince me otherwise. (10/10) *Aerodactyl: This comes pretty close, though. (9/10) *Snorlax: Used to be my favorite Pokémon. And for good reason! (10/10) *Articuno: A pretty chill bird that breaks the ice. Pretty cool! (8/10) *Zapdos: This is the reason I joined Instinct. (10/10) *Moltres: I told you not to overcook the turkey!!! (7/10) *Dragonite: Still my favorite Pseudo-legendary all these years later. (10/10) *Mewtwo: *Looks at Mega-Rayquaza* So much for strongest Pokémon... (9/10) *Mew: IT'S SO CUTE OH MY GOD I WANNA HUG IT (10/10) Aaaand that's it! What do you think? Anything I can improve on? Did you like it? Should I continue this? Let me know! Until then, seeya! Category:Blog posts